Carbs Against Humanity
A party game for people who are tired of wellness bullshit. All proceeds feed actual humans.
The wellness industry makes billions selling solutions to problems it invented. Detox teas. Hormone panels from strip mall clinics. Supplements that rattle when you walk.
Meanwhile, 1 in 8 Americans face food insecurity.
So we made a card game about it.
Carbs Against Humanity is a party game where you match unhinged prompts with even more unhinged answers. It's diet culture bingo meets your worst Instagram ad meets that guy at the gym who won't stop talking about seed oils.
WHAT YOU GET
The printable game includes:
54 black cards (prompts)
219 white cards (answers)
Instructions page
273 total cards of evidence-based chaos
Print on cardstock, cut them out, throw them in a Ziploc bag, bring them to your running club holiday party. Or your Thanksgiving with the family member who sells Herbalife. We don't judge.
Get the Game
Pick whichever one speaks to you. Smaller organizations stretch every dollar further.
🏔️ Roaring Fork Valley (our backyard)
Serves our neighbors from Parachute to Aspen. Runs food pantries, a soup kitchen, and sources from local farmers.
🏔️ Colorado
DONATE TO COMMUNITY FOOD SHARE →
DONATE TO FOOD BANK OF THE ROCKIES →
🇺🇸 Everywhere else
Then you download the game.
That's it. No middleman. No payment processing fees. 100% of your money feeds actual humans.
We're trusting you. Don't be weird about it. We're sending folks to a handful of smaller organizations because that's where dollars stretch the furthest.
Thanks for donating. You're a good human. Here's your game:
Printing tips:
Cardstock works best, but regular paper is fine
We recommend against printing double-sided
Cut along the lines (or don't, we're not your mom)
Fits in a gallon Ziploc bag
HOW TO PLAY
Deal 7 white cards to each player
One person reads a black card aloud
Everyone else plays a white card face-down
The reader picks the funniest combo — that player wins the round
Rotate readers. First to 5 points wins (or just keep going forever)
Pro tip: This game pairs well with beverages and friends who've been personally victimized by a wellness influencer.
We spend a lot of time on this podcast talking about how the wellness industry profits from making you feel broken. The "fix" is always another product: a cleanse, a supplement, a protocol, a program.
But here's the thing—most nutrition problems aren't solved by biohacking. They're solved by access. Access to enough food. Access to food that tastes good. Access to information that isn't trying to sell you something.
Food banks do that work every day, without a brand deal.
These organizations . They believe—like we do—that everyone deserves to eat well, without shame or barriers.
Your $5 helps make that happen.